


Just Once

by Symmet



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Lavellan clan death, Solas being angsty, Spirit!Cole, Tresspasser therapy, still sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-12 07:37:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5658022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Symmet/pseuds/Symmet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They are separated by all of Thedas, every person living and breathing, and every person she needs to save that he will cause to end. They are separated by the ages past, years upon years that stretch out between them, an old wolf and a new rabbit. They are separated by faith and fate, but for one moment -</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Once

**Author's Note:**

> AU where Lavellan clan dies after trespasser

She catches him in a dream. She is getting better - which will be a hinderance in the future. Still, he cannot deny the small smile of pride at his lips as she twists the fade _just_ so to block his initial exit.

Rudimentary. Only the beginning of the potential of the Fade. The Fade is endless, and for one small moment he is a teacher wishing he could show that to her.

But his days as her hahren have long drawn to a close.

So he doesn't look back at her to let her see the smile.

Even if he cannot help but pause for her sake.

Just once, so she can say what she has to. Even if he cannot listen.

Solas glances back, careful over his shoulder.

One of her hands is reaching out towards him. But she doesn't move. As if she knows the moment she does he will be gone. As if she wishes just once that it was any other way.

"Just..." She swallows, "Just for one moment can you not be the Dread Wolf and I not the inquisitor?"

He closes his eyes against the weakness in her voice.

"For one moment, can we just be Vera and Solas?" Her voice wavers again.

He should say no.

He should leave.

But he knows why she's asking. To put it aside. To give her some measure of comfort.

Just once.

His chest tightens with the fact that even after all he has done, she can still find it in her to ask, to open her arms, and hope that he will not abandon her while she is so vulnerable. Despite how many times he's done so before.

He cannot find it in his will power to keep walking this time.

Still, "I do not -" he begins to warn.

"Because there's something I really only want to tell Solas right now, not the Dread Wolf." Her voice shakes, like nervous hysteria, like nauseous mirth.

He does turn around at that.

"I am the Dread Wolf." He says sadly.

"No," she almost smiles, "You're not. Dread wolf isn't a person, it's a mantle to wear, a title to use. Even a weapon to wield. Just the same as Inquisitor. It's not _you_. The Dread Wolf doesn't make the man. The man makes the Dread Wolf."

He almost shakes his head, but he can see the tears in her eyes now.

And maybe the fact that even now she sees past all his masks to the person beneath still catches him off guard.

_Not just anther pair of pointed ears._

"Cole told you, didn't he?" She says softly.

"Yes." He says, because Cole had told him her clan died hours before his agents.

She nods, but before she can say the words, a presence is there, spirit and serene, voice soft and caught up in the edges of their dream.

"It burned so much after vhenan. To be called Inquisitor. Inquisitor is not her. It is an idea, that people can wear. But it is never a person. They called her Inquisitor, but you. You called her da'len, lethalin, vhenan. Not titles but truths. That was who she was. Until she wasn't anymore. You stopped saying the truths. Just Inquisitor. An idea - not her."

His face contorts with shock, and her expression twists.

"No," Cole says, as if in agreement "That's not what I told him."

"That wasn't a request for you to do it." she chokes out, tears clogging her voice and she might just bend right now -

Solas feels a soft pressure at his back, urging him towards his Heart. He hesitates.

Her face is in her hands but she just shakes her head.

"My clan died today." She manages between her fingers.

He only needs to be pushed one step before he slides into the motion.

"Vhenan." He says achingly, and reaches for her.

Of course she answers, hadn't she always? Always fitting herself tightly into his arms as if she had never belonged anywhere else. As if they are not separated by all of Thedas, every person living and breathing, and every person she needs to save that he will cause to end. As if they are not separated by the ages past, years upon years that stretch out between them, an old wolf and a new rabbit. As if they are not separated by faith and fate.

Perhaps, just for this moment, he thinks, as she sobs and shudders in his arms, but lets him hold her together, trusts that he will do this for her because that is what they both deserve.

Just once, just for this moment, it is one heart holding another, and nothing separates them at all.


End file.
